Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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