I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
