I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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