Sry I called you an 8
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
