I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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