I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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