Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't deserve a penis
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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