He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
