I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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