I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
