Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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