this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
