I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't put those talents on a resume
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
