im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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