i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I will pee on everything he values.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
