Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

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(586): View more from Michigan

More tranny stories later!

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(914): View more from New York

Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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(845): View more from New York

it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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(720): View more from Colorado

No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.

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(310): View more from California

This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails

(310): View more from California

I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me

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