Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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