it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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