So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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