Heybabeimwearingurpanties
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
