I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
