How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
