So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
