brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.