i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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