Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making