Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
