look no pants
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Come share oat with me in your robe
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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