Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize