can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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