peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
