I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
