I feel like I'm in dance class right now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
