I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize