dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
