I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
