Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
