I wanna bring you to show and tell
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
