Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
