I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
