Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

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(506): haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off http://tfl.nu/1xv0

Replies (2) Good night (4415) Bad night (645)
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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(206): he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gr4l

Replies (39) Good night (798) Bad night (4979)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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(570): I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it. http://tfl.nu/aapx

Replies (26) Good night (3538) Bad night (934)
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(614): View more from Ohio

her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny

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(614): her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny http://tfl.nu/5yjp

Replies (38) Good night (919) Bad night (4839)
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(904): View more from Florida

Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

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(904): Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/tda5

Replies (10) Good night (6281) Bad night (861)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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(307): If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them http://tfl.nu/vjhk

Replies (13) Good night (4551) Bad night (738)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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(517): Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school.... http://tfl.nu/i9vj

Replies (15) Good night (5538) Bad night (865)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?

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(216): I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america? http://tfl.nu/75bl

Replies (3) Good night (2513) Bad night (595)
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(406): View more from Montana

At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.

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(406): At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa. http://tfl.nu/1ggh

Replies (3) Good night (1651) Bad night (586)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

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(843): I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones http://tfl.nu/t1ex

Replies (8) Good night (2102) Bad night (564)
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(470): View more from Georgia

My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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(470): My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time. http://tfl.nu/utoz

Replies (6) Good night (1550) Bad night (415)
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(951): View more from California

Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

(1-951): View more from California

Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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(951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj

Replies (10) Good night (1376) Bad night (457)
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(509): View more from Washington

This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.

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(509): This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats. http://tfl.nu/orv1

Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (328)
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(207): View more from Maine

CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP

(207): View more from Maine

Do we still have any pizza left from last night?

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(207): CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP (207): Do we still have any pizza left from last night? http://tfl.nu/ytp9

Replies (10) Good night (643) Bad night (462)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.

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(647): I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes. http://tfl.nu/g99k

Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (776)

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