So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
