Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was confusing and full of hummus
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
