I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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