She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
