I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
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wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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