Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
