I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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