so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
