In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
