so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
