I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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