you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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