I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
