Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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