Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
