I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
