Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
