i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
