I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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