I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
