hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
