Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I could make wine with my vomit
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
