She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
