If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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